You know who I hate? Those people who make things that turn out exactly the way they're supposed to. You know who I'm talking about... those punks in your 2nd grade class who had perfect penmanship. Then in middle school they were your classmates who's science projects always looked like they were manufactured in China and purchased at Wal-Mart or something.
I have never been one of those people. My house is always a little cluttered. My fridge always has something old and growing mold on it. My handwriting is always illegible. Despite that, I always hope for change. I always hope that my extreme jealously of those people will translate into magically turning into one of them.
This recipe sadly wasn't the magical switch into perfection that I was hoping for.
It started off awesome. I laid out my egg yolks and butter in advance, I strapped on my apron and got all ready to prepare some perfectly round and beautiful sables. I followed the recipe to the letter and when it was time to dump all the contents of the bowl out onto a surface to roll into a log, my hopes for perfection crumbled.
Literally. What I dumped onto my counter was a mess of dry crumbles. What the hell? Like, there seriously wasn't anywhere near enough moisture in my dough for the dough to stick together. Did that stop me from trying? Hells no. I wrapped that saran wrap tightly around that dough, willing it to come together in some sort of semblance of a log. And by damn if I didn't get it all mashed up together. Pleased with myself and otherwise in denial about the fact that putting the log into the fridge all mashed together into a log, didn't actually make my dough moist enough to actually be a log, I went about my business for the rest of the day.
The next day, I donned my apron again, preheated my oven and pulled the log out of the fridge. I carefully unrolled it and immediately one end cracked off. Trying to stay positive I just said to myself... Perfect! That's the perfect amount to bake up today! (I wanted to save the rest of the dough for later in the month). I brushed the sides with egg yolk and rolled it in bright pink sugar. And then it was time to cut the dough into perfect little slices. And this is where all hell broke loose.
Instead of slices I ended up with little piles of crumbles. My cookie sheet looked like a sable massacre. I tried to mold the crumbles into round slices, but it just wasn't happening. The dough was just too dry.
I baked those cookies off anyway... again.. thinking that magically they'd go in the oven looking like blue cheese crumbles but come out as perfect thick slices. And again... I was wrong.
The only solution I could think of... was to add some water to the dough, reshape it into a log and let it chill again. So, I did that. I added probably 2 tbsp of water before it finally came together, rolled it into another perfect log and let it chill for a couple of hours.
This second time around I was convinced I was going to succeed. Nothing stopping me now, right? I sliced the cookies and they sliced okay... a little crumbly, but significantly better. Popped them in the oven and then spent the next 10 minutes trying to think of a cute ways to display them for a pretty picture for my blog.
And then I pulled them out of the oven and screamed. They looked awful. Spread out, too brown on the edges, it was like this recipe was just not meant to be for me. Oh well.